How it began........

Well..I will well begin with the seminar/training itself…which I gave to 6 people who had joined our team…I went to EC..I saw her face to face for the first time in the Seminar Room..She looked timid, frightened. I gave the seminar with confidence..my throat was gone at the end of 2.5 hours of talking…
Then Anup left…Then I decided to train these guys seriously…though no one had forced me..but with my experience…..when I had been alotted a project first and nothing seemed to happen, no one seemed to be interested to help me out, I was moved to another..luckily, the Delhi guy took interest in me and taught me like a school kid..I just wanted to repay back to some one….I kept going to EC to personally train them…thery were just like me…no idea of what they would be doing..what this software does….but some how I was giving them all of what I had…It went on like that for 3-4 weeks without much happening..Then she told me some Hydbd guy had called her and was asking her to add him to the jabber,,,and she told me it was because..I had asked her to update her extenxion details in the address book…I consoled her and apologized her…
I was still in ground floor..Then came the TSP get together @ Ruppi’s..It was just a week away…One day while chatting, I called her a smart girl…She told we’ll who’s smart @ the TSP party..I decided to try to impress her in the party…By this time I had totally indulged myself in her…24hrs a day…7 days a week…After a long search the day before the party, I found the right shirt…as per the part dress code.. And luck as it seemed to favour me, everything went my way…I got a lift by car…so that I was not tired by the time I reached the resort…and added to it,..I got his sunglasses….it was not that bad ..I mean my whole get-up….when all of us got together..first the 2 guys..came to me and one said ..I was looking handsome..that made me feel vey good…I was gazing around to catch a glimpse of her…to see how ‘smart’ she was….she turned out to be pretty usual…but she waved at me…that was enough to break my heart which was pounding for quite some time..She came to me along with her friends…and asked…’how did u come’…I had told her that I would join her in the bus… I said I got a lift by my ex-manager. After that though I enjoyed playing cricket, volley ball, football etc..my entire thoughts were like..” she might be watching me ..do something to impress her”. I had become a complete slave of my mind…I watched one more thing though…another guy (her batch mate)….looked to be interested in her rather more than normal. I thought there might already be an affair and that it was better to leave it there itself…but it wouldn’t ….it was not in my control….By Novemeber beginning, I had all the filmi symtpoms..I couldn’t talk clearly to anyone, I couldn’t think anything else other than her…even “CAT” which was just 3 weeks away…and most importantly, for a glutton like me..I had lost my complete appetite…nothing seemed to be interesting to me except her…I was more than mad abt her….Every second… Every second…she occupied my mind…The last day of the week before I took leave…I mailed to the team saying I would be on leave for a week..I got the first blow..She didn’t react…I expected her to atleast pretend if not truthfully that she couldn’t handle it wiithout me…I was almost in for a shock…more than work..I thought she would miss me…but I was completely wrong!! She already had a world of her own!! So many friends, relatives, she was completely engaged with something or the other.!! I felt very bad…that she didn’t miss even an iota of how much I missed her thae week I had taken off for CAT, to perform so miserably, ridiculously, awfully, like a moron.

The week following CAT, the peak of the drama began…Friday afternoon – Nov.24th I was shaking in my seat….I could n’t control myslef..I just told her that I was going crazy abt her...She just said “what’s this?”
that Sat..I called her up…spoke to her…told her about my exams…she didn’t even bother to ask what exam… I am still astonished by her indifference towards me…but that Sat and Sunday.was hell to me….I just cried and cried not knowing what to do…how to take her off my mind…..I couldn’t solve a single problem...That Sunday…I was totally uncontrollable, I felt like something was burning terribly in my stomach…I decided to got back to EC and tell her everything and went to EC that Monday…morning….It was 10:20 am…Everyone had settled down in their work…I jabbered her to ask if she can accompany me to canteen for coffee..Surprisingly and thankfully, she agreed…while on our way to canteen…I looked to be pretty serious…she spoke to me and I just nodded yes or no…She took milk and I took coffeee..We took a table at a deserted area….She began with a warning…”If you start talking abt my bf again, I will just walk away”. I just nodded “no”…
I just looked down and continued sipping my coffee,,,She began…
“Look here…what happened?”
Nothing….
“See..I just sopke to as I spoke with my friends. I think I did a mistake.I shouldn’t have been so friendly with you”.
“No…its’ not your mistake”
I was breathing loudly and fast..
“Don’t breathe so fast..Your lifeline will go down”. I didn’t feel like laughing…“Concentrate on your career..I am not old enough to advise you”…
I just nodded…I was shaking again…“ I am sorry…I don’t know why this happened to me”……With little bit courage, “Is he your classmate”?
No.
After a pause…”Is he your relative?”
“Yes”. (Just as I had suspected as she had told he was in Chennai when I had called her on Sat)..She continued..”He is five years elded to me”
I felt relieved for a sec….I don’t know why I have such odd feelings.Had she said it was some one in her class, or some one in her batch, my ego would have been killed…..


“Once again I am sorry…..I promise you not to trouble again……But please can you promise me not to stop talking to me?”
“Yes, I promise”
We got up and left back…..somehow it seemed like that had to happen..so we didn’t come across anyone while we walked to canteen or back to our seats…not in the canteen…nor did anyone notice…It was just meant for us…to discuss this…
I thanked God..profoundly for that opportunity….



Coming up next…how I failed to keep up my promise…..the next day itself…

To the reader, this might seem funny, insipid, most common thing….but to me, I was going through HELL.